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“Word-of-mouth marketing works. Social capital is vital. And networking is the mechanism to develop both.” - Dr. Ivan Misner

How many of you have ever swung on a vine like Tarzan?

If you have been to any networking events lately then you have witnessed what a jungle it is out there, and unless you go prepared with the proper vine you just can’t seem to get through to the group!

Let’s all image a room full of three hundred people, drinking, eating, and supposedly networking. Ok, everyone envisioning their worst networking nightmare?

When you are in a situation like that it is like swinging through the jungle, there are countless trees to look at, some actually might catch your attention, but the minute you turn your head [splat], you pull the “George of the Jungle” and slam right into nothing other than a brick wall.

Why, because networking isn’t about exchanging as many cards as you possible can within an hour and half. That sounds more like a new board game, doesn’t it?

Networking is about building relationships, not your rolodex.

The following example will demonstrate the difference between building a rolodex and building a relationship.

Jennifer: “Hello, my name is Jennifer. I am a business coach. And you are?”

Sam: “My name is Sam, and I am a Home Inspector.”

Jennifer: “Great meeting you, do you have a business card? I see an acquaintance over there; it was a pleasure meeting you and I will give you a call.”

Let’s try that again.

Jennifer: “Hello my name is Jennifer, and you are?”

Sam: “My name is Sam.”

Jennifer: “Hello, Sam, it a pleasure to meet you, what business is you in?”

Sam: “I’m an electrician. What do you do?”

Jennifer: “Well, Sam, before I answer that question, would you mind answering one more? {Sam nods}, Great! In your business what is the one thing that keeps you up at night?”

Sam: “That would have to be making sure I get all my calls done in a day.”

Jennifer: “Sam, as a business coach, I help people address what keeps them up at night. If you have a business card with you, I would like to give you a call and help you finding ways to make all your service calls. Does morning or afternoon work better for you?”

Sam: “First thing in the morning.”

Jennifer: “How about I give you a call Tuesday morning, at say 8:00?”

When you trying to build a relationship the questioning is all about the other person and you specifically schedule a time to follow up with that person in a more formal atmosphere. What should you take away from these examples?

• Make sure you are in the lead by asking the questions.
• Find out how you can help them.
• Be in the moment with them; don’t be distracted by all the other people around.

These guidelines work when you are in the grocery line, at a huge networking event, downright everywhere. Why? It works because you are concerned about the other person, and you are identifying specifically how you can help them.

Now I must caution you, this is a great way to build relationships but as Dr. Ivan Misner, the founder of BNI would tell you, if you don’t follow through it is more damaging than making the connection in the first place. Make sure you are prepared to do the follow through work, call them when you said you would.

* Photograph by Christopher Potter of Adalaide, SA, Australia. Visit his web site.

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